blogggggggg……(english)

latest news

i have been snooping around on a few datingsites, results weren’t too great, but i found a good friend, a soul mate, a little later, i might have found a lover too, but, long story short, we were both too damaged to continue, shame, a little hurt, even friendship didn’t work out for us… but i found this other friend, we are only mailing, but it feels good, just friends, but it feels verry good!!!

new subject; i haven’t been drinking for 9 months now; i did have a couple of beers a few weeks ago, but that was the only alcohollic beverage i consumed in 9 monts, 9 months almost completely sober!!!!! i am aiming for a year, but i think, maybe this not-drinking isn’t so bad….at least my body feels a whole lot better now…

getting more of a grip on myself, learning to listen to my body, and say no, once in a while….

passed months have been quite a rollercoaster… tired now…

still working on some flute pieces, quena especialy, hope i will be ready to post some soon…

ah well,

we’ll see

peter

two new tracks; i will add them on “pages” later… but here they are

just a photo

a few photo’s

rollerskates

i have been getting bigger (fatter) and aswell as controlling my diet, i will try to do some sports; i did some fitness, but that isn’t helpful much when it comes to stamina, doesn’t help controling body-weight either; so for a while i have been trying to get some rollerskates; overhere only skeelers are easy to get by; when it comes to rollerskates almost none can be found; i didn’t want to order me some from the internet; never know what you get then…and i would have need for an internet-banking acount, wich i don’t have, and realy don’t want 🙂 but finaly my effort payd off, and i found me a pair (new) that suited me, and that fits too..; ghegheghe…

a few years ago i got me a pair of skeelers, and i realy couldn’t get used to them, i have been rollerskating for many years, and i realy didn’t want to switch, but it was the only wheels i could find… so they were collecting dust for awhile and i gave them away, just like the pair of skeelers i had before that; for the same reason, couldn’t get used to inline skating!

but now i have a pair of rollerskates again, and it feels great to be moving; at first i was verry weary; i wasn’t sure i would get the hang of it again, just maybe it had been too long, maybe i wus too old…but after a couple of times trying i am getting my skills back, for now it is just around the block, but i am getting the hang of it, and a taste for it too; more of a hunger actually…. 🙂

so… i am having fun, i am doing sports… and i am losing weight, after only a couple of times, maybe half an hour! and it feels great to be rolling again; it has been a big part of my life, and i welkom the oppertunity and the fun exorcise… it has been so long…rollerscates

about love

30 years alone,

at some point, I stopped giving  a fuck,

somehow, I stopped caring,

no longer would I waste my energy…

the only side of love

I have ever seen

is pain…

moved

sorry…. i had a stiff drink last night; wasn’t realy drunk; though i have a hang-over now…

but it is about time i posted something; well? i haven’t been well at al; i moved to another place and it was realy stressing; pakking everything up; trying to fit it in my new home… trying to pick up my new life… it wus hard… it wus realy hard… and it still is

i was somewhere in way outer-space; had to find earth again… i am only just getting a grip again; it took me several months… now i am here, looking back; i installed my own internet… got a computer by myself, installed it myself… happy and proud… it wasn’t realy that difficult…

so, picking up; finding my rythm; doing groceries; cleaning; keeping contacts… finaly getting a grip again… that’s where i am now…

cat is getting accustomed to his new place as well; hope i can take some pictures in the near future…

right now i am not having visitors; i am not going anywhere as well; groovy shit… i realy need a clear head…. and i am way off; i know this will take me a long time; but that’s ok… sorry people, right now it is realy too stressing…

well, i messed up another post; sorry for this chaos; it will take me awhile to clear my head… hope you don’t mind…

c’ya…

que(e)n(a)

i used to dream about having my own shakuhachi (japanese meditation flute), now i own a xiao (chinese shakuhachi), and will be owning a real japanese shakuhachi soon; i used to say (and still do) “the shakuhachi is the king of all flutes, though nowadays i’d rather fool around with the queen, the quena! 🙂

some pieces of my life are finaly starting to fit together, these flute’s can be a symbol for that; or a metafor….i waited so long, and worked so hard; hanibal said; “i love it when a plan comes together” 🙂

these flutes are quite expensive, have to save for a long time, but it is worth the effort….

i haven’t been posting a lot because i am moving to my own apartment; another big change! it has been a lot of work, and now we are almost done moving my stuff to my new place (i have a lot to thank for!) (my parents were like the big boulder, my storm and rage couldn’t harm…)

it will take me awhile before i will install me some internet, Phone, that sort of thing… still a lot of things have to be aranged, or worked out, and having my own pjuter and Phone will probably be the last thing i need to realy install myself in my new place, my new life…

ah, well, that’s all for now… maybe more next time,

signing off,

peter

tags

sorry for dismissing my tags, and my tagcloud; i had to find a better way to make use of tags; in a way it was anoying me, i wus thinking something like, those tags should reflect what i am all about, and the way they were, they just weren’t….

lots of things being happening; i will keep jou posted, but for now it’s just finding back my resiliance (my backbone, my spine) and being a little more happy…

 

that’s all for now,

and now, to work…

peter

 

110

what? only a hundred and ten visitors today? how disapointing! (ghegehgeh 🙂 ) i should have been famous by now…. no realy, today; almost 200 mb’s download? 110 visitors? i am totaly content, 132 visitors a day average, what more could i want; and i am stil growing; it is overwhelming 🙂 more than 10.000 hits in 15 days, a little under 20.000 a month average, that’s good… isn’t it? you make me glad… you make my day…

i am still looking for ways to improve this site; there was a lot more on here, not so long ago, i want to offer a lot; photo’s, paintings… whatever; my posts are getting lonely, this site needs flavouring; it wasn’t supposed to be just a blog… i do a lot of things…i want to show… still… work in progress, i guess…

so, now i am going to meditate some, and then go to sleep; there are great things coming…

also i am working on a few new things; we’ll see; some more flute pieces maybe, finaly some real quena-work? i do hope so…

c ya

peter