rollerskates

i have been getting bigger (fatter) and aswell as controlling my diet, i will try to do some sports; i did some fitness, but that isn’t helpful much when it comes to stamina, doesn’t help controling body-weight either; so for a while i have been trying to get some rollerskates; overhere only skeelers are easy to get by; when it comes to rollerskates almost none can be found; i didn’t want to order me some from the internet; never know what you get then…and i would have need for an internet-banking acount, wich i don’t have, and realy don’t want šŸ™‚ but finaly my effort payd off, and i found me a pair (new) that suited me, and that fits too..; ghegheghe…

a few years ago i got me a pair of skeelers, and i realy couldn’t get used to them, i have been rollerskating for many years, and i realy didn’t want to switch, but it was the only wheels i could find… so they were collecting dust for awhile and i gave them away, just like the pair of skeelers i had before that; for the same reason, couldn’t get used to inline skating!

but now i have a pair of rollerskates again, and it feels great to be moving; at first i was verry weary; i wasn’t sure i would get the hang of it again, just maybe it had been too long, maybe i wus too old…but after a couple of times trying i am getting my skills back, for now it is just around the block, but i am getting the hang of it, and a taste for it too; more of a hunger actually…. šŸ™‚

so… i am having fun, i am doing sports… and i am losing weight, after only a couple of times, maybe half an hour! and it feels great to be rolling again; it has been a big part of my life, and i welkom the oppertunity and the fun exorcise… it has been so long…rollerscates

about love

30 years alone,

at some point, I stopped givingĀ  a fuck,

somehow, I stopped caring,

no longer would I waste my energy…

the only side of love

I have ever seen

is pain…

moved

sorry…. i had a stiff drink last night; wasn’t realy drunk; though i have a hang-over now…

but it is about time i posted something; well? i haven’t been well at al; i moved to another place and it was realy stressing; pakking everything up; trying to fit it in my new home… trying to pick up my new life… it wus hard… it wus realy hard… and it still is

i was somewhere in way outer-space; had to find earth again… i am only just getting a grip again; it took me several months… now i am here, looking back; i installed my own internet… got a computer by myself, installed it myself… happy and proud… it wasn’t realy that difficult…

so, picking up; finding my rythm; doing groceries; cleaning; keeping contacts… finaly getting a grip again… that’s where i am now…

cat is getting accustomed to his new place as well; hope i can take some pictures in the near future…

right now i am not having visitors; i am not going anywhere as well; groovy shit… i realy need a clear head…. and i am way off; i know this will take me a long time; but that’s ok… sorry people, right now it is realy too stressing…

well, i messed up another post; sorry for this chaos; it will take me awhile to clear my head… hope you don’t mind…

c’ya…

que(e)n(a)

i used to dream about having my own shakuhachi (japanese meditation flute), now i own a xiao (chinese shakuhachi), and will be owning a real japanese shakuhachi soon; i used to say (and still do) “the shakuhachi is the king of all flutes, though nowadays i’d rather fool around with the queen, the quena! šŸ™‚

some pieces of my life are finaly starting to fit together, these flute’s can be a symbol for that; or a metafor….i waited so long, and worked so hard; hanibal said; “i love it when a plan comes together” šŸ™‚

these flutes are quite expensive, have to save for a long time, but it is worth the effort….

i haven’t been posting a lot because i am moving to my own apartment; another big change! it has been a lot of work, and now we are almost done moving my stuff to my new place (i have a lot to thank for!) (my parents were like the big boulder, my storm and rage couldn’t harm…)

it will take me awhile before i will install me some internet, Phone, that sort of thing… still a lot of things have to be aranged, or worked out, and having my own pjuter and Phone will probably be the last thing i need to realy install myself in my new place, my new life…

ah, well, that’s all for now… maybe more next time,

signing off,

peter

tags

sorry for dismissing my tags, and my tagcloud; i had to find a better way to make use of tags; in a way it was anoying me, i wus thinking something like, those tags should reflect what i am all about, and the way they were, they just weren’t….

lots of things being happening; i will keep jou posted, but for now it’s just finding back my resiliance (my backbone, my spine) and being a little more happy…

 

that’s all for now,

and now, to work…

peter

 

110

what? only a hundred and ten visitors today? how disapointing! (ghegehgeh šŸ™‚ ) i should have been famous by now…. no realy, today; almost 200 mb’s download? 110 visitors? i am totaly content, 132 visitors a day average, what more could i want; and i am stil growing; it is overwhelming šŸ™‚ more than 10.000 hits in 15 days, a little under 20.000 a month average, that’s good… isn’t it? you make me glad… you make my day…

i am still looking for ways to improve this site; there was a lot more on here, not so long ago, i want to offer a lot; photo’s, paintings… whatever; my posts are getting lonely, this site needs flavouring; it wasn’t supposed to be just a blog… i do a lot of things…i want to show… still… work in progress, i guess…

so, now i am going to meditate some, and then go to sleep; there are great things coming…

also i am working on a few new things; we’ll see; some more flute pieces maybe, finaly some real quena-work? i do hope so…

c ya

peter

sorry i been so long…

i been fucked up for awhile, in fact, still am; it has been hard; nowadays i realy stopped drinking too; sober for five weeks now; body is picking up again; though it’s a shame, i had to; two beers in a week was still too much for my body to handle, so i thought; ahhh fuck it; and; what the hell; so i stopped, and i haven’t realy regretted it; what’s wrong with an occasional beer, you say, well, nothing realy, and i do miss it, but my body couldn’t handle anymore…couldn’t ignore the loudening protest from my stomach, my spleen, and my liver (lets not forget; my kidneys too!!)

mourning the death of a friend… wondering why I lived… (and getting stronger too) (maybe i wus just in time, to take things in hand…) this is a kick in the butt…

ah, well

trying to shoot a picture of my cat, not a all content with the last pictures i shot… i am getting more demanding… want to do something with light; and now retouching some pictures is an option too- i guess i am growing…

cat is lying here beside me, on the desk; he’s a fine specimen; so fluffy; and soooo lovable; he’s got the sweetest character…hey Bobbeltje (like the name Bob; but also “lump”) (ghegheghe) can you read this? … oh, he’s gone now…

for some time, i realy felt my hart hurting and thumping pain with every beat, but i finaly got a grip on myself again; set stress on a side-track for awhile,Ā simple excorcise, lots of spirulina (sea-weed-pils (or powder) verry good for lot’s of things; i take them mostly, becouse my family has a history in cardiac-disease, and i have bad knees (yes it helps both and in addition helps my bowels too), a few special herbs… and lots of rest (no more drinking, smoking; whatever…), if i can do it the flex way, working on my site is actualy healing; it is nice, relaxed, and good therapy…and i am feeling better again! have to watch out, you know, those anti-psychotic-pils are a risk, of course…

i see my scanner has completed it’s mission to keep my browsing safe…(gehgeh) have to look in to that now… so, i’ll be seeing you…

 

lots of love…

peter

thanks

thanks for all your kind remarks and the pointers that you shared with me; at the tempo mail comes in, i will not be able to keep them all, that, and sorry for those i mistakenly regarded as spam; a site like this is a lot of work… thanks for your support!! uptil now (though it’s a lot of work) i read everything, even the most Obvious to be spam…

maybe lateron today i will post some photo’s i made; i think those were a thank you from the gods, because i participated in the eye-contact-event; i finaly got a big bird of prey, before my lens, an actual free living hunter, here in the village; though there must be more, i think it’s exciting!!! and nice pictures too… i think i am growing… ghegheghe… might be glowing too…

i will put those pics on an extra page; they are interesting enough to look at, and look at again, not like a blog, where most of the posts are actualy old news…

 

thanks again,

peter

damn!!! i fucked up… i still had my iso up…. wich means … no photo’s….helll!!! (i been waiting for so long… )

damn

a good friend of mine is dying; cancer; bleaarrgh! a bit sad… met a nice girl yesterday, i didn’t ask her number ( why bother? ) but it was good fun; probably won’t meet again (there whenĀ she was most needed)

maybe tonight i will go out and meet some friends; take my mind of things… won’t stay long… a bit fucked up, right now… won’t drink either; thea or none-alcoholic, something like that; i feel like i have seen too much…

yet another friend has been ill for a long time now; terrible disease; cancer also; i try to maintain my balance, but it’s hard…

i must say, though i am not taking this lighthearted, i am not realy depressed or something like that, i am getting better; picking up the pieces where i left… i am letting go… life has changed me… maybe i am finaly growing up…

listening to coil (horse rotorvator) & craddle of filth (cruelty and the beast) can be good therapy sometimes, save years on the couch; oh and by the way; Lana? you’re the bestest…

 

ahh well

c’ya…

-just now i hear a more distant friend has passed away… must be a big party upthere šŸ™

soooo tired

i wus advertising a lot; not that it did help, or do much good, and working hard to get my pages going; i did do a friends page aswell ( and a few others too) and now i am soooooo freaking tired- i only want the simple things; hanging round, posting something, taking a picture, writing a poemā€¦ but what i am doing now is hard work! have to keep myself informed; checking this and that; asking people for atention, for a view, socialising, networking, bookkeeping, taking wins & losses, at the same time getting myself to create something again; music, paint, photo; etcā€¦ friends asking; what are you doing? (bit anoying) working hard on myself; trying to get more work done and getting more stable at the same time; this realy fucks me up; i have had enough nowā€¦

i will keep to my plan; hey i am doing the best i can! after all i am only human tooā€¦ and i have a lot of off-days! if nescessary i will break myself freeā€¦.Ā  i will claim my life again; this is my life; my goals, what i want to do, and what i can do; i am no supermanā€¦ it is supposed to work for me, not against me!

ah well, a few successes; somewhere around 1900 folowers; thatā€™s nice; close to 100 visitors dayly on reepke.com and my other sites and blogs doing well enoughā€¦ not even close to this one, but i never intented them to beā€¦

now for a few weeks of rest and working out; i want to amuse myself wiht my posts; this has got to be; otherwise the effort is realy too muchā€¦

thinking; when did i start this crazy train? i wus getting better, years and years ago; and i wanted more and more; and i won a lot, lost a couple; must have been almost 30 years ago; far i have come! but now i am hitting a brick wall; not much to winn anymore; at least not on short termā€¦ as i have said before; now i will have to accept what i canā€™t changeā€¦

still i might be the happiest person on earth (or i should say might become; i am still working on it; though happyness isnā€™t a goal by itself, to meā€¦) i have known hard times; and i got through, iĀ even won eventualyā€¦

this is how messed up i am; i posted this as a page; gheghegheghe; ah well, i fixed it; now as for tags; lets see….

 

peter

update: best advertising i ever had was advertising myself, with postcards on flyerpaper, presenting myself and my art, while engaging in (mostly) interesting conversations….