never thought

never thought that i would ever be able to write a propper essay, or even a story, nowadays actualy it comes quite easy, even in english; though i am not a native speaker; but one doesn’t have to follow rules; rules are guidelines, there is no reason to obey (i uncovered that when i wus still writing poetry) (i can only write poetry in dutch, by the way…)

the last couple of essays (in dutch; on broeder reepken zegt ) had me quite content (i figured that only a few moments ago; but it is true; my writing seems to be developing into something totaly new for me; i am actualy getting better at this).

i hope tomorow i wil be able to go to the market, and take some pictures too (me drinking one beer; half of what i allow myself in one week; and yes! i have grown into that too…)

this week an apointment with my shrink might be schedgualed, she was urging me already a year ago, that i might try using less medicine, i wus reluctant then; well i hoped i could, but i thought i wusn’t ready; after my accomplishments last couple of years, i do feel ready; i get huge amounts of stressing things, experiences; but nowadays i manege, it seems that stopping smoking has gotten me more sensitive on the one hand, but also more flexible on the other; that is, a lot more flexible; a nice pize to win for me, being able to take less pills!!! yeah!!!

stopping smoking itself was sheer horror, for almost two years, but now i don’t crave anymore; i am almost completely free…

so i hope i can go to the market; see life where it is going on, happening; my that is an akward sentence; or isn’t it?

see you again tomorow?

reepke(n)