damn

a good friend of mine is dying; cancer; bleaarrgh! a bit sad… met a nice girl yesterday, i didn’t ask her number ( why bother? ) but it was good fun; probably won’t meet again (there whenĀ she was most needed)

maybe tonight i will go out and meet some friends; take my mind of things… won’t stay long… a bit fucked up, right now… won’t drink either; thea or none-alcoholic, something like that; i feel like i have seen too much…

yet another friend has been ill for a long time now; terrible disease; cancer also; i try to maintain my balance, but it’s hard…

i must say, though i am not taking this lighthearted, i am not realy depressed or something like that, i am getting better; picking up the pieces where i left… i am letting go… life has changed me… maybe i am finaly growing up…

listening to coil (horse rotorvator) & craddle of filth (cruelty and the beast) can be good therapy sometimes, save years on the couch; oh and by the way; Lana? you’re the bestest…

 

ahh well

c’ya…

-just now i hear a more distant friend has passed away… must be a big party upthere šŸ™